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The Offseason Power 5 – March 17


LOS ANGELES — Welcome to my new weekly column this offseason, appropriately titled “The Offseason Power 5,” because there’s nothing people like more in America in 2017 than lists that rank stuff. So, that’s what I’m going to do here. I pay close attention to what’s going on in the sports and pop culture world and you all need to know where the things people are talking about stand! Whether it’s something sick or, dare I say, anti-awesome, you’ll find it here each and every week. And please let me know if I’ve missed something because it will happen from time-to-time.

  1. March Madness → It’s arguably the biggest sports weekend of the year, responsible for billions of dollars in lost production at offices across the world and reminds everyone why we all love sports so much. Over four days there are 48 college basketball games played and even if you didn’t watch a single second of hoops during the year, you definitely filled out a bracket and have a 12 seed beating a 5. You root for Shockers and Jackrabbits and Jayhawks and Bulldogs and everything in between. You live and die with each shot. With each kiss. With each full-court press. The madness.

  2. New England Patriots → Teams coming off of a Super Bowl victory don’t normally win Free Agency but that’s exactly what’s happening in Foxoborugh as the Patriots have seemingly re-loaded for a run at a sixth Lombardi Trophy. What’s going to happen with Malcolm Butler is still up in the air, but defensively the team re-signed Dont’a Hightower and Duron Harmon, added Lawrence Guy and Kony Ealy up front and arguably the best defensive back available in Stephon Gilmore. Offensively, oh yeah, they traded for Brandin Cooks, signed Dwayne Allen at tight end added another explosive, versatile running back in Rex Burkhead. How is this team going to be stopped next year? I’m not just saying that. How will they be stopped? Barring an injury to Tom Brady, it seems like people are already booking New England for Super Bowl 52.

  3. Adele → So apparently the most famous singer in the world is just like the rest of us when it comes to her Twitter account; she likes to get drunk and post things she probably shouldn’t. Which is exactly why she started up a private account that her management team doesn’t know about where she goes on rants and drunk tweets what’s on her mind. Awesome. I’m not an Adele fan by any stretch but this is a nice step in helping me come around. Now that I think about it, we all should have private accounts, shouldn’t we?
  4. TruTV → This has to be the biggest three-week stretch for this random channel no one even knows they have of the year, right? As we stated above, March Madness is huge. Like Beatles huge. So people wanna watch the games, because, ya know, gambling. So everyone is scrambling to find out what channel TruTV is (246 on DirecTV). It’s amazing advertising that even the channel is making fun of no one knowing where to find it. They have a hilarious island Tupac tweet spot, among others. Great work.

  5. Planet Earth 2 → Have you guys been watching this?! Great geckoes of Galapagos Islands this is incredible! Whether it’s dragon fights, panthers biting gators in the head, lions chasing giraffes, bats attacking scorpions, flamingo dancing, bird sex, penguins fishing, goats mountain climbing, blind river dolphins… I mean, I could go on and on but you get the idea. The real heroes of this show are the camera operators. Could you imagine how impossible it must be to get some of these shots. The sweat dripping off a desert beetle?! Are you kidding me?! It’s insane. It’s the must watch of the year so far.